Thursday, June 26, 2008
--
omg...
today i spent..
504 dollars.....
lor.............
omg.............
i am such a spender.
but wellllll its ok
as what is 'quoted' from
some email i received from
some weirdo ( a long time ago! ok lar a few mths or so? )
'lucky dun need to waste money to buy 2 year anni present'
( ok maybe not exact words..
cos i dun rem... but somewhere
along the line....
i will rem that for a long time.
i didn't know its a waste.
i'm sorry.
but don't worry
i didn't tink its a waste to spend
money on you. not on the 800 dollars tv
nor the dvd player nor anything else.
but its ok lar
i am just not worth it lor.
bo pian.
i am a loser and a psycho.
tsk tsk tsk..
how come i nvr knew that.
i tink i am gona report police.
cos i fucking cannot stand it.
*happy thoughts*
its gym day today...
and there is a bunch of us this time!
hahaha shiok boh?
i am so gona carass the machines and weights
and of cos gona come in contact with the tracks.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
| The.Goodbye. 6/26/2008 05:39:00 PM |
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--
Pasta waraku
the... Curry hamburg steak...
sucks.. dun even try...
aft i ate.. i just feel like puking.
but the pizza is not bad...
its like a market...place inside there..
can't even hear the phone properly..
childish 'teens'
it was such a happy day..
esp at starbucks..
almost laugh my guts out.
omg... so lame..
so excited... haha
SINGFEST!... i am... coming!
TRAVIS! oh my!!.......
2 tix ar... 300... hah but its ok! its worth it!
so tempted to buy both days. haha
if so 600 sia... siao boh.
hahaha
BY RIGHT! BOOKING TIX LATER ON!
OMG OMG OMG.. fucking excited.
eh u better dun tua me hor...
cos i will kill u.... its travis.. and ur lost prophets.
shld have seen it coming..
well others saw it.
-missing u... somehow... even tho' it was less then 24 hours we met.
| The.Goodbye. 6/26/2008 02:37:00 AM |
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Wednesday, June 25, 2008
--
Botak Jones
n
White Wine..
what a match.
i think its too salty...
plus red vomit.
perfect meal.
--------------
i got so much to blog.
and 9 rolls of film to develop
damn excited.
thanks for sat. haha
it was fun... we shall do it again!
i will develop it soon...
can't wait to see how the photos are like.
its been too long... i wonder if i still have the skills
i saw lar. haji lane.
| The.Goodbye. 6/25/2008 02:51:00 AM |
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Monday, June 23, 2008
--
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
you can report if you want. report your case.
just not mine. sorry. i cannot afford the price for mine.
i wish u happiness sincerely cos i really think you deserve it.
what if one day i move on. to another phrase of life..
what will that be?
will you guys miss me?
what will my parents feel?
will she ever forgive me?
will the truth ever be out?
will i be returned my innocent?
i asked myself this almost everyday.
i can't find much of an answer.
i can't turn back time.
i can't undo what i have done.
i can't unbreak my heart or yours.
i only want to leave.
| The.Goodbye. 6/23/2008 11:52:00 PM |
__________
--
i have put the desaru post on halt.
no heart to continue the post today.
will repost it again.
i think me and accidents.. have lots of fate this year..
these few mths esp.
thursday.. kena accident..
sat.. saw accident at upper thomson..
just now.. another accident infront
of our eyes... somemore is the cab... we are
flagging..
the loud 'pang' keeps ringing in my head.
i have nitemares abt the accident..
the bloody driver..
i m tired of defending myself.
u want me to prove myself innocent.
there is only one way.
its not that i dun want to.
but that way.. will break my family.
either way i will lose.
this time round
my choice is my family.
bcos u threw our family away.
u knew how much i love u.
u knew i was even willing to die for u.
u knew i m willin to die for junior.
u knew how grateful i m to have u in my life.
u knew how much i love our family.
u knew how much i hate to be accused for things
i have not done.. cos thats what my mum always do.
i kept the fall from you and suffered myself.
i wanted to spare u the pain.
u knew i always put you first.
if all these ... makes u tink that i am that
person.. that person who did all those..
then so be it..
if it makes u happy... makes ur friend happier.
so be it. u happy can alrdy.
if its so impt to u that i am the bad person
then i'll be.
| The.Goodbye. 6/23/2008 01:51:00 AM |
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Thursday, June 19, 2008
--
i always love to blog on thursday.
cos thursday is gym day!
and i am going to GYM.
HOORAY!...............
and also thursday is like CLUBBING DAY FOR MOST PPL!
and i know for u.. most of the time!
u know hor..... drinking is damn fattening one rite?
so hor... ..............
........................
imagine u drinking.. alot ( which u usually do )
i ... am running and working out.
hahaha.. evil i know.
hmmmm
anyway.. sat... i duno.. if i shld actually plan..
the destinations.. or..... to just go ahead
walk and see....
hmmm anyways
this week is damn WOO HOO...............
monday cycle... yesterday swimming (for a short period)
today GYM! .. shiok lor..
so healthy.. cannot stand.
i am sooo evil lar...
ok i am finally off from work to GYM!
| The.Goodbye. 6/19/2008 06:42:00 PM |
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Wednesday, June 18, 2008
--
if u tink i am the one who is playing all the tricks.
then thanks for tinking so highly of me.
i wished i was that pyscho and evil
then it would be much easier to deal with this.
but sadly for both of us. i am not.
not at all.
if not you would get ur kick of cursing me
and i will get my 'kick' of torturing you
or so u say.
you seriously done enough.
please stop. what more do you want of me?
its not only pain.. i am suffering from.
no matter how not worth it everyone tells me
i nvr think of it as that.
even when this relationship have taken away
my choice to live.. i still tink that i was worth it.
i guess i am the stupid one all along.
if u tink it was me.
let me tell u this.
i refused believe when i was told it was u
behind all these shits
maybe i shld tink twice
| The.Goodbye. 6/18/2008 08:22:00 PM |
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--
hmm watched sex and the city.
i tink its average.. hmm
ha... oh well..
eh... thanks for watching with me..
hahaha i know u already watched it!
hmm i do feel abit bad....
cos u need to rush ur project!
sorry!! but anyway... the
BAR CHOR MEE AT UPPER THOMSON
is like fantastic lar! OMG...
u so lucky! so near ur house!
Thanks for intro-ing!
Sat .. i can't wait..
how many rolls of film?
Singfest.. is comming..
OMG OMG OMG.. i want to watch
TRAVIS!.... omg omg omg omg..
i want jason mraz too..
OMG OMG OMG OMG....
so how?
which day shall we buy?
tulan leh.....
| The.Goodbye. 6/18/2008 04:02:00 AM |
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Monday, June 16, 2008
--
ok i am blogging again
i am so backdated..
haven blog abt the desaru trip.
i shall blog later on.
its time that i get back to my running..
fuck the knee.. man.. i need to train up
and keep fit man...
anything to keep myself alive..( yah like this will really help )
i duno why i hungry.. got take lunch what.
but i dun tink my mum cook dinner today...
cos i quarreled with her in the morning.
whats new huh? everyday also quarrel.
even aft they knew abt the clot still quarrel
i guess i am just hopeless lar..
nvr be good enough for them or anyone.
anyway finally tml.. can watch.. sex in the city.
aft so god damn long wait lar....
.. i so slow... hahaha
i can't wait for sat lar.. so excited...
GOING SHOOTING LAR... aiyoh....
hahaha eh.. u dun last min tell me u cannot ar..
i dun want to go too late.. u want to shoot through nite?
if so i bring my stand. i tink we shoot till nite
then can teach u how to shoot at nite also!
soooo excited...
haha i guess my passion is slowly comming back
to me... but then again..
this passion... cannot pay for my cab rides
and psp... or my E trip..
only waste more money nia.. BUT HECK LAR..
i love it!
.. 5.47 only.. argh ...
i tink my new clay for hair.. is damn oily..
and smelly and i tink it cannot hold.
and oh did i mention i change my hairstyle
again?
i tink now look damn boring.
P.s. - syl & gang.. thanks for always being here
when i needed u guys the most! for once i dun feel
abandon.. its been damn fun! and pei too! thanks for
always lending me ur listening ear. i know .. i know
i need to listen to u... give me some time lar. huh
and dragon boat.. we see ok... hahahaahah
but swimming i on u.. SOON!
| The.Goodbye. 6/16/2008 04:00:00 PM |
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Saturday, June 14, 2008
--
yesterday was GYM day..
there was only me and angel.
i ran 3 rounds only! cos my knee started to hurt aft 1 n half round.
(fucked up. whats new)
damn suay the gym alot of ppl no bloody mood to do much
plus peipei not there....
no motivation!
aft that...angel FORCE me to go kallang leisure park
to eat some yogurt ice-cream. slacked awhile then go home.
i feel soo..NO WORK OUT AT ALL! OMFG.
cannot make it lar.... cannot so slack alrdy lar CB.
WAKE UP!
Damn Fucking tired.
OMFG...
i didn't realised that ...
SO MANY PPL WANTS ME DEAD!
SO CAN TAKE ORDERS FOR MY FUNERAL FOOD ALREADY MAN.
I DIDN'T KNOW SO MANY PPL HAS NO CONSCIENCE..
HAHA NO WONDER KARMAS ARE SOOOOOO RIGHT!
BTW I WISH I WAS DEAD SOON.
SO WHEN I AM I WILL COME HAUNTING FOR ALL OF YOU
WHO WANTS ME DEAD.
I WILL SHARE MY EXPERIENCE WITH U.
I'M A NICE FUCKING ARSEHOLE
| The.Goodbye. 6/14/2008 04:16:00 AM |
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Thursday, June 12, 2008
--
will update abt the past week happenings soon.
right now i am at work.
i m burnt. ( ok only shoulders )
i'm learning to cherish more impt things in life
which is everything that i have left with me.
its not easy. to live like this. and when the
condition worsen, it doesn't get easier.
(just give me alil respect and dun take this
as a joke and make fun of it. u want to say i
fucking totally deserve it go ahead. just dun
fucking make a joke out of it.)
i m not here to blog abt how hard i am dealing
with all these bcos i dun tink i need to say
anything.If you got any conscience or brains or
emotions u know its hard.
i just want to say i love u all.. my bros...
friends.. family.. u.. bb...
u can call me an idiot.. just dun tell me to live
life for myself becos i m not even holding on
to my life. it just seem like no matter how hard
i am trying to grab it.. it seems to be slipping
further away.
Just dun judge me.. cos i dun deserve it.
neither do i tink i deserve the fall
in the least.. i didn't fall for myself.
| The.Goodbye. 6/12/2008 04:39:00 PM |
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Sunday, June 08, 2008
--
All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die
Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
but I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
| The.Goodbye. 6/08/2008 08:12:00 AM |
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Thursday, June 05, 2008
--
i am at work blogging lar..
so godamn bored.
5.30pm...
1/2 hr to go...
omg seems like forever.. that i have actually left the office on time.
ok .. only this week i leave office like in the wee wee hours..
so i guess not so bad at least i got a life.. not like stay in the office
until super duper late.. everyday.. heng ar!
i would sell my soul for alot of things.. but definitely not work.
unless its.. being a photographer.. (fine art/artist kind of cos)
i hate the commercial world. was talking to angel and loraine abt
what i really wanted to do, to me passion weigh more than money
in every way. i am so fucking miserable now at work becos i am
working for money and zero passion. Fell so damn bloody degrading..
i just dun understand how ppl can do that. sigh but i guess we all live
in a materialistic world.. and surrounded by materialistic ppl ( i am prolly
one of them too... on certain aspect ) what to do.. i need to money to
do what i want too. surprisingly to alot of people money can buy everything
esp in SG... even my parents tinks like that. but then again alot of things
is easier said than done. i always tink that you work for money so hard
at the end of the day u get alot of money.. are u really happy? can money buy
back those times that you have lost? that u could have spend to make ur
life alil more colourful? alil more room for urself and ur loved ones?
last time in my previous company we always interviews big CEOs and
and they always say no time for family.. no time for love ones. the price
of being rich and all.. and most of them will say they would like to have
more me times and more times spent with the loved ones.. see money can't
buy that. but i mean its money.. thats what makes the earth revolve. haha
ok trashy toks.
pei say today play got andro hunt. haha ... andro hunt seh.. abit like
herstory butch hunt.. some of them look like butch rather than andro leh
but same lar herstory.. some of them look like andro/femme rather than
butch also. interesting. but play.... abit boring.. haha but sadly SG les
clubbing scene not much.
ok PPL... take note.. yes u allll, U KNOW WHO U ARE..
1 year starting from next mth ok..
the big E plan. dun tua me..
IF u tua me... ... there is nothing i can do either.
but its ok i added xiaomin to the big E plan..
she confirm wun tua one. LOL
can't wait.. haha but long wait leh.
YEAh 5,45 liao.. wasted 15mins.. hahahahahahahaha
can't wait for GYM SESSION LATER! i want to run run run..
haha i feel so bad.. eh u all out there.. if ur see this post
ar.. JUST REM.... u are out there... gaining fats.. and
taking carbs..... i am burning mine! and getting healthy and
pumped up!.. kidding lar.. u know i love u all out there..
wait not all... not u... and u.. and yah u, u, u, u, u, u.
OMG CHRIS IS SUCH A MUTHAFUCKER...
NO WONDER SO MUCH KARMA.
WAITING FOR MY KARMA POLICE TO COME AGAIN.
don't worry i believe urs are not far away. they will
always come and catch up with u de lar.
syl just say rat .. this year.. very bad leh..say by right cannot take boat..
cannot do watersports... blah blah blah.
no wonder this year so suay... took ferry once.. tsk tsk.
kena the fall / blood clot. then it ruin my life.. and everything.
then kena accident twice... one not serious at all.. one .. quite jialet.
then...still got 'this' 'wonderful' shitass thingy still going on.
aiyah.. WELCOME TO MY LIFE.
life sucks.. and so do all of us.
i am so fucking emo and whiny.
ok 5.50 liao TEE HEEE HEEE TEE HEE...
TRACKS! and weights i won't be too long..
i will caress u dearly later.
i am such a sicko.
| The.Goodbye. 6/05/2008 05:30:00 PM |
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Wednesday, June 04, 2008
--
ITS THE 1002 post for my blog!
wanted to do the 1000 but i guess i am just too forgetful nowadays.
anyway its 7.30am... and ....... i just GOT HOME FROM WORK.
yes from work. today/yesterday was print date.
yah i guess i am totally useless. i feel so upset when i was doing
the chinese mag. i felt so useless.. so helpless becos i dun understand
any shit. then when the 2 editors are breathing down my neck for the
proofreads for both magazines ( yes.. 2 magazine sending for print at the
same time and i am the only one doing it ) i just felt like giving up.
i guess i am still a coward aftall, always choose to run choose the easy
way out. Anyway yah ... these few days have been super busy at work
bcos of the same print date for 2 of the magazine.
WELL.....
i want thank SYL,MEIMEI,EDNA,MEILIAN and ANGEL
for coming down to my offce ard 1+am to acompany me
( i was supposed to meet them aft work ...LOL )
I hope you guys had fun? running around the super huge
office .. and raiding the pantry. hahaa thanks for cooking
the cup noodle for me! thats my first and only meal of the day.
i didn't even smoke much man. fucking busy and stress.
anyway sorry guys... made u guys waited for me.. i really feel so bad.
sigh.. sorry man.. really. hope you all wun be too piss with me
for like wasting your time... ( they left ard 4am )
life haven't been easy.
i guess no one's life is anyway.
i am not a good soul aft all?
becos i get nothing but more sadness
everyday. no matter how hard i try to embrace life
it seems to go pretty much no where.
looking past everything i see nothing but a destroyed
painting which will prolly nvr be able to salvage.
The guilt seed has been inplanted in me towards my family
esp my mum. Even though she treated me like dirt or even worse.
i have nvr wished that on her but now i end up being the cause of it.
i guess i am really like what she says.. just useless better off dead.
if i were to just die at the fall, i would have make things easier for
everyone isn't it. then all these wouldn't have happened.. wouldn't have
caused so much pain for her or my family and to anyone else.
but i just got no luck. i only got a clot.. that could endanger my life.
making me live a life that i nvr know if i got tomorrow.
although the nose bleed and blackout kinda stopped..
but now sometimes my cough has blood. i duno if this means its better?
or worse? but then again.. i can't do anything much to it and wun know anything
until sat.
i just want to say sorry. if my reaction was out of line.
sorry if i interpret it the wrong way.
but it hurts. it really hurts be it you mean it or not.
why would i do such a thing? if i want to see junior
i will have the brains/manners to ask you if i could.
and not just go up and let myself in. Beside i have nver
done that before when we were still we, the most is i open
without u knowing but u are at home.. OR u... ask me..
to go over and pei junior? or like be at home so the cable
guy can set up ur wireless? at which other point have i enter
your house without u knowing? i just wished you had tink
better of me. like i said i would do anything for u and junior
i will. even if it means giving my life.so rest assured i will nvr
do anything to hurt bb in anyway.
i hope u all know that seriously i didn't wish for that fall ok?
don't make it sound like i am totally enjoying it.
try not being able to slp everynight.. turning ard in the bed. so fucking
tired but just can't slp. imagine, having doubts of sudden collapse and death
its not enjoyful .. maybe if i fell becos of myself maybe all these wun be so hard
to bear. but i guess i just dun deserve a slack. or what.
ok i am heading off to bed now.. 8.20 am.. this i when i would wait up.
hahahaha ok this is an emo post.
P.S . I FUCKING HATE MYSELF.
BUT I AM COUNTING TO THE DAY...... ( NO NOT SAT FOR SURE)
OK NITEY NITEY NITE NITE
| The.Goodbye. 6/04/2008 07:24:00 AM |
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Monday, June 02, 2008
--
had DING TAI FUNG
OMG.. ORDERED SO GOD DAMN MUCH...
hahaha been so long! missed it soo much!
had sakae teppenyaki also at CS.
they do things abit different from cine one
but just as nice!
so excited ... bought the thing liao!
but the bottom like....
duno use which one also.
tink i will look abit kuku. LOL
but what the HELL!
i tink i super distracted ....
been blogging since 3am...
then half-way watching UGLY BETTY..
then chat online..... then read syl's damn
bloody funny emails then bathed...
now is like 4.05am.. lor. damn but i feel like watching
another episode of UGLY BETTY!
haaa oh wat the hell.
i hope its all over aft i told that bitch abit 'it'
i don't think my mum can take it anymore.
i can't take this blame bcos i will break.
i cannot be the cause of what will happen to them.
not like this. not when its not even my fucking fault.
i just had enough.
i have conscience maybe not alot but definitely more than a dog.
| The.Goodbye. 6/02/2008 04:00:00 AM |
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Sunday, June 01, 2008
--
i tink its 10pm now over there.4 hrs difference.
and tml is a public holiday.
so GOOD.
(queen's b'day huh)
why we got no Queen or Kings here?
... LOL
anyway...... i will..... adjust the photos
when i am back later or what lar. huh.
WHO are you to say all those things? and give advice.
when u slp ard and have sucky dates.
you are not fit at all.
please go reflect on urself before giving advice
and judging people lar.
you are just a slut in my eyes and many other
people's eyes.
GET A LIFE
| The.Goodbye. 6/01/2008 06:15:00 PM |
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