Friday, May 22, 2009
--
Lazy to blog nowadays.
met up with val quite a bit was glad to finally meet up with her
driving around and stuff.. late night mustafa / trampoline shopping
lol - You make my day always bro.
and of no doubts at all.
fun times with flo/jaime/edna/meimei/mei
MJs, chilling out, movies, dinners!
tioman trip on bohz?
lets discuss aye!
and of cos meet ups with Miss Super Hamster vikki tan.
Sing Ks is what we do best! :)
lets go again aye.
- - -
sometimes u know somethings u can forgive but just can't forget.
and no matter how hard u try u can't help but let it influence you
its things like this that breaks a person down.
saying is easy doing is so much harder.
there will always be one person that will affect you so much
without even lifting a finger or otherwise.
and no matter how hurtful it is.
u will never change towards that one person.
but maybe sometimes when you feel that u have
completely die inside. u will change. and it will be extremei really had enough.
nothing seems to get much better.
only my family and friends.
no doubt it mean so much to me.
but the worries i have never seem to stop
my body seem to be breaking in parts.
last week -sprained wrist
this week - feet's nerves.. out of place
then now- my neck seem sore.
i wonder whats up.
paranoid?
i duno.
maybe its best that i don't know.
i wanna leave this place
| The.Goodbye. 5/22/2009 04:16:00 PM |
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Saturday, May 16, 2009
--
lunar is pretty borinbg
so end up doing whqt i do best
in clubs
which is drink
i dun rem ho wmay jaggerbomb i've had.
and we had flamming lamborghini
quite abit of chivas.. oher drinks
and i need a slp
Labels: i
| The.Goodbye. 5/16/2009 04:53:00 AM |
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009
--
i realised...
there is nothing that i cannot do.
its just a matter if i want to.
i don't know if i can want to.
not anymore.
| The.Goodbye. 5/12/2009 12:09:00 PM |
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Saturday, May 09, 2009
--
i'm back again.
yes at 5am in the morning.
just got home.
i need to be up again by 8am.
hospital appointment at 9am.
bro coming to fetch me at 8.30am
i really drag this.
whenever this comes.
i hate it. i really hate it
i pick at every single thing i can pick on.
i rant at whatever/whoever i can
then i pretend to be happy.lame.fun.excited.super alrite.
and today i did all these again.
this has made me too darn emotional.
putting up a front as if i am really ok with it.
telling myself to just forget abt it and live life
to the fullest. which is why i stopped talking abt it,
stop mentioning it, continue to live my life like usual
i smoke and drink, (but i cut down alot on smoking)
i take up a sport, something i've always wanted to have.. a sport.
i treat my family nicer, spend more time with them.
Meet up with friends more and lastly work like mad.
As days goes by i thought that i've gotten used to it.
i thought that i am really fine with it.
but deep down i only feel that i am breaking up
i am slowly dying. My unhappiness is smashing me into pieces.
i'm worrying abt the condition, worrying abt a future that i mite not have
worrying abt my work, worrying abt my mum and worrying abt a few others.
and i worry when will it comes.
i feel that i can't deal with this anymore.
i really wish i can just disappear
and nvr come back.
nvr want to hate or blame
nvr want to remember all the hurt i've gotten.
nvr want to remember all the wrongs i've done.
nver want to feel anything.
- is there a place to go for ppl who wants to die?
waking up to a few hours of waiting.. and
the same doc and the same procedures and the same
words coming out of that same doc again.
- i'm sorry,
-
-
-
-
-
- then i realised i had enough.
| The.Goodbye. 5/09/2009 05:10:00 AM |
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