Thursday, May 19, 2011

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Alright.. i hope no one reads this blog anymore.
cause i've forgotten my wordpress add..

been so long since i last blog. so many feelings inside of me.
i wish i could tell u that i love you..i wish you know that i have nvr stopped loving you
and i wished i've faced that truth long time ago. been running away. I want to get over you.
i need to i guess.

So many phrases.. words.. actions of you lingers in my head.. as some situations occurs
mostly sweet. although the part at tanglin still hurts the same.. as it did the very 1st time
i still get the shaky legs.. the upset stomach and the unease feelings when i think abt it
i rem every single part of it like it was yesterday. it still hurts and maybe thats why i still love you.
and prolly will nvr stop. I don't want to dwell on the past.. but i can't help it. the only thing i can do is
to nt let it affect me too much.. or act on it. its tough.. damn tough. i never knew i can have such strong
feelings towards another..Maybe to you its suay that you had to be the one. for me.. i'm glad. i don't even
know why i love you. and i think being as friends is better than anything else.

i've always act like i'm ok.. i'm alright.. but deep down i am not.. i feel like i'm breaking apart. and i'm
just standing by watching part of me die. no one can save me.. or maybe i don't want to be saved. i live
in self pity secretly. i never wana talk abt my problems much because even i myself cannot handle.. it
i cannot not cry.. when i think abt much less talk abt it to others. And i wonder how long i can hold up
this front. things seems harder to bear now.. no qns.. that i hate betrayal.. cause it hurts so much. it really
does.. and i know aft all these.. i can nvr trust another.. in order not to torture myself or another.. i decided
that i don't want to get into a relationship. and Pei.. got alil worried.. and even mention to try to matchmake
her friend.. to me.. lol i was alil shocked.. but yea. it was funny. there were times that i wana.. close myself up
and not let anyone contact me.. but then that means disappear from FB.. from sms.... and all.. i don't know if i
can do that. I'm considering ...

i don't even know why i'm posting this.. or what this post means.. but i guess my emotions are running way
haywire.. cause i suddenly don't feel sad.. and i have no idea what i'm feeling now. i'm patiently waiting for the day
that i go crazy.. and kill myself or die.. either way works fine. :)


| The.Goodbye. 5/19/2011 01:31:00 AM |

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